Last Day Of Radiation

Today is the last day of radiation. The team at the photon radiation center have been really great. They greet my daughter with warmth and enthusiasm every time. They have her music queued up, and they recently gave her a few new squishies to play with during treatment. Despite the horrible reason why we go, they have been kind and I hope we never have to see them for treatment again. 

After that we have meet the teacher night and then a celebratory Italian dinner to mark the end of this stage. 

I was talking to a friend this weekend about what the next school year will look like. Her son is starting high school, and only a few of his friends are going to the same school. She commented on how he has grown so much over the summer and is starting school changed and more mature. Then she said how my daughter is different because of what she has gone through this summer, and she is different in ways that her peers can't understand. Neither of us are sure what this will mean for our kids this next school year. We definitely can't take away the challenges they will face, but we can at least guide them through it. 

I don't know why I hadn't thought of that before, but I just didn't. I was thinking about her changes as deficits - things that would prevent her from keeping up with her friends. But, they aren't that. Yes, her brain processes information differently than before, and she might struggle with tasks that used to be easier, but she is also changed in her ability to handle challenges and pain and in her compassion for others. It sucks that she has to go through this, but there can also be growth through it too, and those differences aren't bad things. 

It is easy for me to get stuck in a deficit mindset. To focus on people who haven't shown up in the way that we've needed or wanted. To focus on the difficulty of our present moment. But we do have a lot to be grateful for, and I think it is healthier to put our energy into being thankful for what we have and the people who have extended support in whatever way they can. We can also count the ways we've grown stronger and how we can act with more empathy for others because of what we are experiencing. I know I've written about this before, but I have to constantly remind myself to shift my focus and perspective. 

So, today is the last day of radiation and we are working on thank you cards for the radiation therapists. I hope they know how much their small acts of kindness and care helped make this process a little easier.  

A Song about Gratitude

Brian and Kate Torwalt, "Hallelujah in the Hard Things"